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JAH3, Kingston

Hash Trash

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Available for short term rental near river - STONY HILL   -

Furnished 2-Bedroom cabin/cottage with wooden deck overlooking river 

Lilly covered spring
Trellised front area (vine-covered)
Flat roof (ideal for entertaining, moon watching, dinner for 2) accessed by stairs
Charming private driveway
King Alarm
Defined steps to the river
Bird songs
Fireflies
Fruit tree & sugarcane
Exciting possibilities for hikes, walks, treks or strolls
Breakfast by the river or just sit in it
By the way, there is a fireside you may light some logs at night or whenever

Call        407  7305 

 

November 20, 2007

Learn about the "Secret Sport" as presented by the Glasgow and Edinburgh HHH, if you understand a whee bit of Scottish!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaTsZtV5Azw
 

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Hashers challenging the anti-terrorist forces and hysteria in the USA


Running Club Members Face Felony Charges
Saturday, August 25, 2007 6:19 PM EDT
The Associated Press By CARA RUBINSKY
NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) — Two people who sprinkled flour in a parking lot to mark a trail for their offbeat running club inadvertently caused a bioterrorism scare and now face a felony charge.
The sprinkled powder forced hundreds to evacuate an IKEA furniture store Thursday.
New Haven ophthalmologist Daniel Salchow, 36, and his sister, Dorothee, 31, who is visiting from Hamburg, Germany, were both charged with first-degree breach of peace, a felony.
The siblings set off the scare while organizing a run for a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers, a worldwide group that bills itself as a "drinking club with a running problem."
"Hares" are given the task of marking a trail to direct runners, throwing in some dead ends and forks as challenges. On Thursday, the Salchows decided to route runners through the massive IKEA parking lot.
Police fielded a call just before 5 p.m. that someone was sprinkling powder on the ground. The store was evacuated and remained closed the rest of the night. The incident prompted a massive response from police in New Haven and surrounding towns.
Daniel Salchow biked back to IKEA when he heard there was a problem and told officers the powder was just harmless flour, which he said he and his sister have sprinkled everywhere from New York to California without incident.
"Not in my wildest dreams did I ever anticipate anything like that," he said.
Mayoral spokeswoman Jessica Mayorga said the city plans to seek restitution from the Salchows, who are due in court Sept. 14.
"You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know," she said. "It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious. We're thankful it wasn't, but there were a lot of resources that went into figuring that out."

posted by "Pothole"

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BEST WISHES FROM THE HASH MASTER

From: W. Lampert [mailto:annawilliam@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2007 1:31 AM
To: jah3@jah3.virtualave.net
Subject: best wishes

Hi Ulla,

although I finally enjoy summer temperatures in Central Europe, I watch with horror the developing hurricane moving towards Jamaica. I hope the entire Hash community, their families and friends will weather the storm safely and protected. My thoughts are with you.
With best wishes
William "Rasta Shakespeare"

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Hash 250 - Happy End for Smelly Trainers - THE END
 

From: Yvonne Gibson
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 5:29 PM
To: Emile Finlay; Ulla Wyckoff
Cc: devans@mrmotivator.com; John Maziliauskas; Mary Maziliauskas
Subject: Smellies and Stitcher Reunited !!!

 
My heroes, Verbal Diarrhoea and Any Cock Will Do, reunited me with my beloved Smellies today.   I was quite impressed on how he treated them as he allowed them to ride inside the truck with him.  So life is good again and back to normal.  Me inside, Smellies out side, and we resumed our relationship by agreeing to meet once a fortnight as usual.  It's amazing how all the lizards legged it across the lawn when I opened the bag.  Mind you having been shut in TWO plastic bags for the last 16 days I don't blame the lizards one bit!!!   Verbal Diarrhoea has now removed the sign "toxic load" from his truck and is heading back to Mobay to a cleaner fresher environment. 
 
Thanks again to Mr Motivator for looking after my smellies while in quarantine and to Verbal Diarrhoea and his wife, Any Cock Will Do, for reuniting us.  My apologies go to the Jamaican People who had to smell their passing by between Mobay and Kingston.  AND shame on all those hashers who mocked me at the American Independence Day Hash on Sunday.
 
Thank you, good night.
 
Stitcher

Hash 250 - Happy End for Smelly Trainers - part 2

From: John Maziliauskas
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007
To: Stitcher, Mr. Motivator
Subject: RE: One Pair of Smelly Trainers

 
I'll be passing by Ochio Rios Sunday midday(ish) on route to Port Antonio and will drop by and pick them.
John

The saga continues! The Smelly Trainers' homecoming is still to be followed through, ON ON!

Hash 250 - Happy End for Smelly Trainers - part 1

From: devans [mailto:devans@mrmotivator.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007 10:36 AM
To: Louise Henriques
Cc: jah3@jah3.virtualave.net
Subject: Re: One Pair of Smelly Trainers

Those well worn and smelly trainers are in quarantine waiting to be collected.

Thanks to Mr. Motivator!


The saga continues! The Smelly Trainers' homecoming has yet to be organized! Hope this website will still be up and running when we will be able to report the reunion of the smelly ones with Stitcher! (Yours truly, BMW)

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Hash 250 - The Smelly Trainers' Saga continues - The Criminal's Defense

From: Yvonne Gibson
To: The Constable
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Cc: Ulla Wyckoff; Emile Finlay
Subject: Fw: One Pair of Smelly Trainers

 
Dusty (our most respected "21 year old" Constable). 
 
You may mock but I just loved my trainers, we've been together through thick and thin, water and mud, S**t and sand.  I even spent money on getting them up-graded just recently (new insoles - gel ones) so that they would make my little legs go faster and the corns wouldn't complain anymore!!  I am in deep deep DEEP mourning.  We lived very happily together for the last 5 years - me in the house, trainers outside - only meeting once every two weeks (a great relationship).  They deterred lizards, rats, mice and burglars - recommend that all houses should have  a pair of smellies!!  I also have nightmares of the smelly little things running around St Ann lace in lace or locked in somebody's trunk crying out for me to rescue them ........ that's it, I just thought ......... somebody is holding them for ransom, they want the toll money from Highway 3000.
 
So pleeze (a hash pleeze) don't punish me too much, my heart is broken so that is punishment enough.
 
Stitcher

Hash 250 - The Constable's response to "Genotrainerside"

From:
Dusty "Cool Runnings"
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007
To: jah3@jah3.virtualave.net
Subject: RE: One Pair of Smelly Trainers

 

Hi Stitcher,
                   I was unfortunately absent from the crime scene on Sunday, however my heart is bleeding for "smelly" who you abandoned in St.Ann. Consistent with trainer abusers; you, who in this instance chose "smelly", feel  emotions are to be walked on. I have nightmares when I visualise the poor unfortunate mud encrusted urchins devoid of the comfort of their familiar balcony being exposed to the capricious St Ann weather. I offered a little prayer that they were not separated, so at least they had each other lace to cling to.
I was forced to reply as I cannot turn a blind eye to such a flagrant, inhumane and unforgivable act of genotrainerside, your correction will be accommodated at our next hash. A four hash; barefoot, seems a good starting point for your recovery and ultimately acceptance back in the JAH 3 family.
 
Have a nice day.
Your Constable.
 

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A message from the Hash Master, June 26, 2007
 

Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Subject: Vacation
 
Dear fellow Hashers,
 
I will leave the island on Thursday, June 28. Cruel vacation activities are ahead: The German National Hash in Koblenz, July 6-8 and the London Euro Hash July 13- 15. Two weekends of combat drinking which I will report to you via visual
e-mail. I wish you all a pleasant summer, storm- and stress free! Keep on hashing! Burp will be your reliable and entertaining Hash Master in my absence as usual. I will return August 24. You will face the 3rd Hash Olympics then! Get prepared! (with Red Stripe and White Rum!) Guess I will miss you all after two weeks!!
Again, all the best and on, on!
Rasta Shakespeare

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HASH 250 - Priory Beach, St. Ann - Lost Smelly Trainers and a sad Stitcher

From: Yvonne Gibson [mailto:yvonnegibson@mail.infochan.com]
Sent: Sunday, June 24, 2007
To: all Hashers
Subject: Lost: One Pair of Smelly Trainers

 

Hi Guys
 
I seem to have lost a pair of very smelly trainers (especially after falling in the mud at the swamp area on the Hash).   I left them just behind the chair where Hash Cash was sitting.   Can one of you put an email around to see if anybody  has a strange smell in their car, just in case they decided to find a new home especially after the neglect that I have given them over the last 5 years (they are not allowed into the house so live out on the balcony).
 
Thanks
 
Yvonne (Stitcher)
 
PS.  Don't worry, I have another pair of old trainers, just not as smelly, so no "new trainers" for me!!!

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RUN            249
Date           
June 10, 2007
Location    Enfield, St. Mary
Hares        
Tiny Bagpipe and Singing Bagpipe
Trash by    Rice 'n Peas, Rasta Shakespeare

New runners:

Martin Hardy, Emily Hardy, Doug Warzecha, Heather Blanco, David Carlton, Jackie Niellsen, Bola Ajobo, Christina Campbell

Anniversaries:

Burp 170 Runs
Herbal Death
100 Runs
Wheeler Dealer 120 Runs

Down Downs:

The Hash Master for flattening a banana tree on his run downhill,

The hares for their directions: "Look for the T in Enfield". There is no "T in it. Here's to the illiterates!

The new runners, the Constable, Pothole and others for measuring the time with the height of the sun. But since it was raining cats and dogs. they arrived late.

Maiden Plum for carrying a tent size umbrella during the run.

Count Dracula for gross attention seeking, pictured in a magazine!

Once again Jail Bait was declared the idiot of the day. After being told what the cost for Hash and food were, she handed over the money, saying: "That makes 900!" The Hash Master prayed: "God protect our children for she is a teacher."

Jail Bait was also awarded with the Hash Hog for abusive language (screaming BOMBO..... when she faced the river.

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RUN            248
Date           
May 27, 2007
Location    Middleton, St. Thomas (Stony Gut)
Hares          Wheeler Dealer, Tarzan and local Ken Oliver
Trash by    St. Patty's Revenge

Well the heavens opened and God poured and poured and poured out His blessings on Hash Run 248 and Blessed were the hashers “through and through.” It was heavenly.

Though some turned back, a good number of us proceeded to Middlesex Bar where we were instructed to meet for the start of the hash. I’m assuming the rain obliterated the signs giving clear directions to said bar. Unfortunately for those of us who were prepared to go the whole hog, we had to settle for half the hog or end up slip sliding away to God knows where.  In true Wheeler Dealer and Tarzan style, we were given a trail which, if walked, produced breathtaking scenery and a taste of rural St. Thomas. For those who preferred to run, the terrain was flat most of the way with intermittent inclines. What about the rain you ask?  It was a welcome change from heat and perspiration; after all, you do get wet one way or other. 

Meanwhile back at the Bar, Hash Master Rasta Shakespeare was busy honing his skill. Not to be out-done was, you know it, The Constable preparing for the Down Down.  In the absence of Cotton Head, Split Endz was called front and centre a total of four times for making remarks such as “try to keep dry” while rain was falling like the dickens and wearing mules instead of sneakers, new ones at that. The hares were toasted for giving us a hash any at all, considering the weather, but chastised for omitting to use water wings to secure shreddy. This hasher concurs with that decision as I had to resort to asking a local if she had seen others walking the trail.  Then there was the “dry posse” consisting of, yes, Split Endz, Burp, Dr. Livingston, Bulby and son Stephen, Count Dracula and Toothpick, King Size, Pumpkin, Coco-Nuts, to name a few, penalized for refusing to participate in the hash for, of all reasons, not wishing to get wet.  Rice and Peas welcomed our two new hashers, Ed from Flow and Ken from Middleton in traditional “come” and “go” style.

We would be remiss if we did not comment on the warm welcome Auntie Little gave us with her friend Miss Cherry and her crew at Middlesex Bar and the ‘finger lickin’ meal provided by same. Dominoes anyone? Music perhaps?  Something for everyone from Dancehall to Latin, Rock ‘n’ Roll to Blues so the hashers danced and a good time was had by all. 

Here’s to the Hares! Well Done!  On On.

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RUN            247
Date           
May 13, 2007
Location   
Colbeck Castle, Bannister, St. Catherine
Hares          Rasta Shakespeare, Coco-Nuts, Notorious Viking, Sleeping Beauty, Marc & Co
Trash by    St. Patty's Revenge

The Met Office promised rain but the gods decided otherwise and the sky was a picture of blue and white with splashes of yellow from a determined sun.  We were ready for anything, or so we thought. 

From the get go we knew we were in trouble; two minutes into the hash, we could not find a trail not because we fool, we just could not believe we were expected to go under a barbed wire fence and tip toe around cow droppings. This was not a hash for the feint of brain as false trails were in abundance (yours truly...St. Patty that is.... went on every one!).  One such trail took us to the Castle which stands forlorn in the middle of overgrown weeds; a little sad really that what was once such a magnificent building, should be reduced to a shell and one might have felt the pangs of change had it not been for the ice cold beers awaiting us inside the walls which obliterated all thought except the pure enjoyment of quenching our parched throats.

Although there was shreddy a plenty, somehow we were unable to find our way to the trail that would lead us to the finish or in this case the beginning of the end. This could be attributed to the fact that Rasta Shakespeare seized every opportunity to stand in the circles with a bland expression on his face, leading us to believe each time we took the wrong trail, we were in fact doing something right.  Finally, Cotton Head, using common sense (it was the only choice of trail left) led us to the finale. Awaiting us with smirks on their faces were Hash Master and The Vicar.

We have four new hashers, two Jamaicans and two Frenchies.  Due to the absence of the Mismanagement Committee, which was off to parts unknown (literally), The Vicar filled in for Rice ‘n’ Peas and did a fabulous job of welcoming our new hashers. Rasta Shakespeare filled in for Cool Runnings as The Constable for the Down Down, it was a double whammy.  Once again Cotton Head was in the limelight as his mode of dress came into question.  Picture this, a yellow Jah3 muscle shirt with white and grey Bermuda shorts (x2 his size); however, I think it bears mentioning that his socks did match his shorts.  I, on the other hand was called up or rather down for threatening to “Kill Bill” with whips or kisses; stay tuned.  Hash Master toasted all “Mothers” including Mother Chucker who refused to be left out of the proceedings, but lambasted us for our irresponsibility in, NO! not in having unsafe sex, but allowing our bank accounts to be depleted by the ones we spawned.

This was a typical countryside Hash and I give it high ratings.  It may have been lacking in hills and gullies and opportunities to do acrobatics but it was a runners’ course, flat and secure and for good measure the air permeated with the scent of dead carcasses, On On.

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RUN NO.:  244
DATE:         Sunday, April 1, 2007 (All Fool’s Day)
HARES:      Peesingh, Rice & Peas, Maniac & BMW, St. Patty's Revenge
PLACE:       Sligoville Great House, Sligoville
HASH TRASH BY:  St. Paddy’s Revenge

Taking into consideration the hash took place on All Fool’s Day; the organization of run 244 ran like clockwork from directions to the venue to the final event of the day, the meal.  Definitely no fools hare.

Senior Hare, Peesingh, was an attentive mother hen or rather, fussy cock, as he made sure no major mistakes were made by the Hashers as we went from road to bush, false trails to steep inclines and finally our destination.  He solicitously organized a long trail which allowed a breathtaking view of rural St. Catherine and then mercilessly organized an alternatively longer one which the die hards, who never say die, undertook to overcome.

A few of those who took the longer trail, namely Heather, Rosie’ Maniac and Herbal Death, depleted the environs of as many orchids and other plant life as their hands could hold while huffing and puffing up the steep, winding road praying for a glimpse of the Sligoville Stadium which would herald the end of the two-hour hash and give merit to their well deserved punishment.  Nothing monotonous about this Hash, it had everything.

As soon as we all congregated at the great house, in great spirits I might add (mood wise and beer wise); we were regaled with a twenty minute discourse on the history of Sligoville by Mr. Gates, the local ‘historian.’ The down down ceremony followed immediately which found Peesingh and his cohorts, the Bairds, remiss in completing the outside structure for the day’s events.  Hash Master was at his best dripping sarcasm from every orifice to the enjoyment of the hashers.  We were treated to a fashion show where Psycho, The Vicar and Scrap Iron showed their versatility in dress; this hasher thinks the Vicar stole the show.   However, the icing on the cake was Cotton Head who because he erred, had to wear the infamous dress which Psycho attempted to make a perfect fit on him and got sloshed for her troubles.  To compound matters, Cotton Head also had to wear the pig mask because he uttered, with good reason I might add, “local fabric” while on the hash but the upside was he wore both appendages with great aplomb.

I must end by giving my compliments to Peesingh and fellow Hares for organizing a great hash in a fabulous location.  Sligoville which is known for fog and rain, didn’t rain this day but allowed us to inhale clean fresh air, feel cool on our long walk and afforded us breathtaking scenery while we enjoyed our scrumptious meal on on.

++++++++++++++++

Sex on run 243:

see John Crow picture series  SEX on the Hash in Yallahs River

++++ a hasher's comment  +++++

From: Ulla Wyckoff [mailto:ulla@fongkong.net]
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 11:05 PM
To: 'Dieter Falk'
Subject: RE: Sex on the Hash


Dieter,

Good to see that you are staying in touch and obviously keep Hashing! Who named you Tax Hawk and more importantly, why?

You have a point there! According to a Jamaican male it is often Jamaican women who are disruptive when men go for IT.

ON ON

BMW


-
----Original Message-----
From: Dieter Falk [mailto:Dieter.Falk@gmx.net]
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 10:32 AM
To: Ulla Wyckoff;
Subject: Re:
Sex on the Hash

BMW, what makes you so sure it was a jealous male?
Nur vliegen is schoener!

Tax Hawk

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Quiz on Run 241:

The winner is Anna "Coco Nuts" Kaiser, the only non male and non mismanagement committee member with the correct answer: "King Size".

Elligible participants 5, thereof one from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan H3:

From: Brian Buckley [mailto:bbuckley@SABEQ-JORDAN.ORG]
Sent: Wednesday, February 28, 2007 8:40 AM
To: jah3@jah3.virtualave.net
Subject: Quiz 241 - answer

Greetings from the H4 – Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan Hash House Harriers.
I am glad to see that JH3 hasn’t changed since I was there – typical pose after too many Red Stripe !!!
Judging by the perky bum and collapsed state it must be “ Split Ends “ – if not just send me the T Shirt anyway !!!!
Say hello to all our old friends.
Slapper
On On

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Run No:
240
(or was that run #241?) 


Date:
Sunday February 4, 2007  
Hares: Burp, Tarzan, Miss Perfekt, Count Dracula, Lagerfeld
Place:
Manhattan Bar, Cavaliers
Hash Trash by  "Rice'n'Peas"

Unbelievably, the hares, hashmaster and others are still arguing as to what the actual number (240 or 241) of the hash run was. One would have thought that this would have been a very simple matter - shouldn’t it ? Folks here’s the answer, listen to me clearly, very clearly, here goes: take the number of the last hash, and then (listen now) ADD ONE!!! There! We’ve resolved THAT argument! And one more thing – if you MUST drink before a hash, stick to BEER, NOT white rum!!!

The directions to Manhattan Bar were quite clear and virtually idiot proof. (Although after keeping LEFT at St Christopher’s and going for some time, a couple of us wondered if they really meant for us to turn RIGHT). Anyway, we soon came up on the square where the hares and other early drunkards were waiting for us – helping with the parking (???) or just dancing to the music. There were several hashers that we hadn’t seen in a long time such as Pothole and the Bone Collector who surprised us with their presence.

After the opening instructions, it was on on up the road for what turned out to be a long false trail. Then on back to the Manhattan Bar, across a bridge, up, up, up a steeep slippery slope, down, down again and then inevitably, as promised, it was time to get our feet wet. The surroundings were quite picturesque and Count Dracula had a field day snapping away with his obviously water-proof new camera. However, it seemed like the rest of the hash was spent mostly wading in the river water. Thankfully, it was just ankle/knee deep but Queen Mom (aka Drowned Rat) was still very suspicious of it. Round and round we went, seemingly without end. After about a half-an-hour, the monotony was broken by a strange, screaming land-owner who was obviously alarmed and frightened at the sight of scores of even stranger individuals traipsing around and shouting “ON ON” right here in the wilderness where she rarely saw another human being.

Shortly afterwards, the trail led us up and out of the river bed and we could soon hear the loud pumping music at the Manhattan Bar to guide us back to the start. Here it was party time with the Red Stripe being passed around and dance music on the turntable. For the downdowns, we tried to get away from the sound system by going way across the river but even over there at that distance, the hash master still had to request that they turn down the music for a few minutes. The down down ceremony recognized a lot of criminals including Tiny Bagpipes and others for coming to the hash intoxicated and Safari Queen for trying to impersonate the hash idiot. There was also a naming ceremony. Rice ‘n Peas was made hash idiot for a particularly idiotic act a couple of weeks previously.

Run No: 238 
Date: Sunday, January 7, 2007  
Hares: Rasta Shakespeare, Wheeler Dealer 
Place: Crystal Edge Bar and Restaurant, Irish Town, St. Andrews
Hash Trash by BMW

DOWN DOWN's:

1. When invited by the Hash Master, in front of this preponderance of New Runners, to give mere details of the run ahead, Wheeler Dealer exhibited gross disrespect and lack of awareness by exclaiming "About What?"! The wrong person was hanged last week in Bagdad!

2. Trini Sexpress  being cooler than Irish Town, obviously did not come to walk.

3. Manfred and Fritz, his German Shepherd Dog, refused to state which one of them DROVE today.

4. Marjorie, being unable to cope with the flat terrain, kept remonstrating with her poor daughter to keep up while she was behind her.

5. Clarendon Posse for consistency, haven driven all the way, none of them took one step close to a corn meal pile.

6. Queen Mom and Sometimes arriving on time for the NEXT Hash!

7. Maniac BRIBING the stragglers with Bananas, having injected the fruits with the runs! The recipients of these bananas became apparent at 5 pm GMT.

Anniversaries

Burp                                      150   (how many burps that makes!)
Cinderella                              25
John Revolting                    25
Immaculate Perception     25
 

Christenings

Rasta Air                  German Heidi for flying from Strawberry Fields to Frankfurt on frequent schedule
Notorious Viking   Justine Nordberg  for going to Sweden to catch her man

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